After I was at a busted party, I have never gotten over it?
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I am 18, a senior in high school, accepted to all of my six applied-to schools, and overall a good student. Over the summer, I started doing, what I believe to be, normal teenage experimentation. I had two parties at my own house at which I drank for the first time, and went to two parties, one at which I drank and at the other of which I smoked marijuana. I also went to one outdoor concert but I didn’t drink, but my friends did. Each time I do these things, I make sure I have my own cup the whole time, and do not take drinks from people I don’t know. I never get in the car drunk or with anyone who has been drinking.
When the school year started, I started going out, too. Probably one to two times a month I drank, either at a house party or with a few girlfriends playing drinking card games at a sleepover. I kept up my grades an everything. Twice I drank too much and got sick, but I believe it to be a learning experience. NOT every time I went to a party would I drink, sometimes I was designated driver.
I went to a party in November at which all of my friends were there as well as the majority of my grade and the grade below mine. About an hour into it, in a split second, everybody was screaming and jumping out of windows, and I remember vividly my one friend urging us to “get out, get out, the cops are here!” I, with 15 other kids out of the upwards of 50 kids there, did not get away. We sat in the living room while the cops questioned us and had each of our parents come pick us up. We got tickets, which I paid off. We got off easy. We did not get charged for underage drinking, but for “creating a public distubrance”. The school, and colleges, did not find out.
My parents handled it fairly well and I was punished. I have learned m y lessson in that I do not go out and drink at parties anymore – but I have drank at sleepovers with three to four other girls since. The thing that is concerning me is the pure FEAR I still have inside of me. I honestly describe it as a traumatic experience; it was like a natural disaster, the way people reacted to the cops busting it. In a split second, there was pure silence, then just CHAOS and screaming and glass breaking from people breaking windows to get out. the look on people’s faces was just sheer terror, and I honestly relive that every night. I feel like this is a huge overreaction on my part yet I can’t shake this. I can remember that night as thougt it were a horrific event. What’s up with me?
4 Comments
There’s nothing “wrong” with you. You just learned your lesson. Don’t drink till you are of age.
It sounds like you are just a normal teenager, from what I know about teenagers. In fact, I am glad, as a mom of teen girls, that you are seemingly responsible and know your limits. You made poor decisions and paid for them.
The reason why you are still suffering from these memories, I’ll guess, is because it was, indeed, a scary experience for you. You knew you were about to get in trouble, and with 50 probably intoxicated teenagers, I can just imagine how the reaction would be if cops showed up. I hope you unerstand that the police were not trying to scare you all. They simply knew there were illegal activities going on and they were trying to keep your town safe. In fact, you should be glad they are so in tune with the parties around town! You know you are always safe.
You should try talking this out with someone. Since your parents already know, you could try talking to them about it. Simply talking about it may help. You could also talk to a guidance counselor at school; they will not tattle on you if you were already in trouble.
Good luck!
Things happen, you do need to not drink until your 21 of course. I remember a security guard putting a pistol to my face with his hand shaking when I was at a party. Just know that things could have been worse. Just hang out with kids who are not into drinking and smoking weed.
I was in a similar situation as a teenager (im nearing 30 – shhhh, lol) with the exception that we were out on a back road. Me and 3 other friends walked down a little dirt road to smoke a joint and while we’re down there we all of a sudden see cop lights flashing up at the party. I had a bag of weed in my pocket and so did one of my friends. We jumped into the woods…unable to see anything but trees and bushes! We were just running as fast and as far into the woods as we could, yelling at each other because we couldn’t see one another. Then, one of the girls with us yelled out “what about the dogs”! Talk about panic!!!! I threw that bag of weed as far as I could and ran the other way, all the time just knowing I was about to be attacked by a police dog. I don’t remember a whole lot, but for whatever reason we all decided to get back on the dirt road and walk up to the party, where the cops were still questioning people. They ended up just telling us to keep the noise down and maybe find somewhere else to have our party. But I’ll tell you what, that fear of getting ate up by the dogs (that weren’t even there – don’t 4get, we were high, lol) stuck with me and had me shook up for a good month! I even had nightmares. I wasn’t a bad kid, I had just started experimenting with different things and it was senior year. I think when you have that natural “good girl” heart, then when things like this happen, it is traumatic! It’s almost like your worst fear coming true. But don’t worry…it will pass, your just shook up. It’s like when you have your first car accident or something. It’s hard to get over. But time will heal you. And if not…go talk to someone. There’s nothing wrong with that. People are there for you to talk to for reasons such as this. Thats what they do!
Good luck girl!!!