RATE ThESE JOKES RiGhT hERE?
Agents Conduct Regional Marijuana Bust
September 12, 2010My friends are Potheads?
September 12, 2010
okay here’s the first joke:
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend’s house for a play date.
“Mommy”, the little girls asks, “how old are you?”
“Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother replied.” “It’s not polite.”
“OK”, the little girl says, “How much do you weigh?”
“Now really,” the mother says, “those are personal questions and are really none of your business.”
Undaunted, the little girl asks, “Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?”
“That’s enough questions, young lady! Honestly!”
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
“My mom won’t tell me anything about her”, the little girl says to her friend.
“Well”, says the friend,
“all you need to do is look at her driver’s license. It’s like a report card, it has everything on it.”
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, “I know how old you are. You are 32.”
The mother is suprised and asks, “How did you find that out?”
“I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.”
The mother is past suprised and shocked now.
“How in heaven’s name did you find that out?”
“And”, the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and daddy got a divorce.”
“Oh really?” the mother asks. “Why?”
“Because you got an F in sex.”
okay here’s the second joke…
A Father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to
‘Dad.’
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion……Dad, she’s pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people who live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She desrves it.
Don’t worry, Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your son John
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card. It’s in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it’s safe to come home.
37 Comments
too much reading
I thought the first was pretty funny.
Lmao! 10/10.
HAHA they’re both funny.
The first one was hilarious, I loled. I’ve heard the second one before.
ive hear the second joke before but still awesome jokes!
1st 7 out of 10 and 2nd 5 out 10
BAHAHA! i love both of them!
hahahah. thats great.
im using the second one.
The second one is really good.
It’s really creative.
The letter he wrote cracked me up.
LOL!! I love them both!!! They are really funny! Thanx for the laughs!
The first one gets a 7/10 and the second gets a 6/10. 😀
Definetly the first one 🙂
lol 10 on the first oneee
veryyyy funny
lmao at the 1st one the second one is clever also
HAHA. The second one is the best! I could just imagine my mom reading something like that and getting so pissed before she read the bottom. (A nice idea, too) First one is a’okay.
hahaha! i really liked the first one.
lol 1st one is like a 7/10
2nd is like a 6/10
hell yes i wish to try the 2nd one…hell yes!
First one was hilarious! 5/5
Second one was alright.. 3/5
haha i love both!!
HAHAHAHAHHA these are great! I love it!
aha this is pretty funny!!
The first joke was ok. It isin’t laugh out loud funny but its just cutee.
The second joke was actually funny. It makes you feel like your in the ‘dad’s’ shoes reading the note, your son gave you. In my head i was probably thinking the same things a real father would.
When I got to the last line, I felt like such a fool. LOL!
Good one’s.
love the 2nd one!
HAHA! I really liked the 2nd it was soooo jokes….. when I read the part that Tracy weras Piercings, tattoos and other stuff and that she was older than him and that she’s pregnant and that their going to grow marijuana *huff* *huff* ok *huff* *huff* and then at the end it was fake I like that one!! lol 8 points out of 10!!
ROTFLMAO
567/10!!!!!!
hahaha.
i’ve never heard the first one,that was funny! 10/10 🙂
The first one is funny, but the second doesn’t make sense at all.
Both=hilarious!
haha both funny
First one: not funny.
Second one: hilarious.
I really love the first one. And the second one had me worried, but it came through. GREAT JOKES!!! 🙂
the second was AWESOME
i cracked uppp
but the first one was funny but not as good as the other one
Haha both are so funny :]
1 10/10
#2 9/10
LOL. 10/10
=]
Those were so funny!!